Naruto: The Ninja Gunman
by AlxkendBlader
Summary: Response to sparky002's ThingThing challenge. Project #154 (Zero) was about to die fighting against an endless amount of Systems Corp. mercenaries after failing to find the CEO that ordered his creation, when a dimensional rift opened up under his feet, sending him to a whole new world. Rated T for language and violence. Expect some bashing, too! Ch. 4 up!
1. Pre-Story

A/N: This is a response to sparky002's "ThingThing challenge"

Pre-Story: A few things before Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

Now, before I start things off, this is the info that will apply to this challenge response.

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1. Weapons

(Both 154 (who I will name Zero, since some people in Japan are actually named Zero) and Naruto will each have and use one gun of each category, from Pistol to Other(s), along with a Melee Weapon)

**.Zero's Loadout**

Pistol: XM 435 Super Mag (the most powerful bio-weapon deserves the most powerful pistol of them all, right?)

SMG: Izhmash PP-19 Bizon-2-07 w/o stock (I think it looks cooler that way)

Assault/Battle Rifle/Machine Gun/Etc.: Heckler & Koch HK21

Shotgun: Winchester M1887/1901 lever-action

Other(s): Hades Rifle (stolen off of Hades), RYNO II (I know that it is a Ratchet & Clank weapon. I just thought he'd kick some serious ass with it.)

Melee Weapon: Sword (the one you earn in Thing-Thing 4 when you get the 500 melee kills achievement)

**.Naruto's Loadout**

Pistol: Colt Delta Elite 2009 Model

SMG: FN P90

Assault/Battle Rifle/Machine Gun/Etc.: M249 LMG (I considered the MG4, but its firing rate is overkill)

Shotgun: Benelli M4 Super 90

Other(s): China Lake Grenade Launcher (Pump-action grenade launchers FTW), Mini-Vulcan (Yes, it's the one from Thing-Thing Arena 2)

Melee Weapon: Sword (the same as Zero)

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2. Characters to be bashed

The following is a list of characters that I will bash in this story

.Kakashi Hatake (He's a hypocrite who plays favorites with Sasuke, so I'll go with it, while depicting him as one of the ignorant shinobi who think that Naruto is the Nine-tailed Fox reborn.)

.Sasuke Uchiha (He's prideful of his Uchiha lineage, egotistical, mentally unstable, and in serious need of a lesson in humility. It doesn't help that the civilian council spoil him rotten with lies about his so-called greatness.)

.Sakura Haruno (If you don't like her being bashed, forget about reading this story! She deserves it for being an arrogant fan-girl anyways!)

.Konoha civilian council and elders (Nothing but a bunch of greedy, power-hungry jerks!)

.Ebisu (He's also one of the ignorant ones, and is a closet pervert through and through. Plus, he thinks that training Konohamaru would give the little squirt a shortcut to becoming Hokage. He doesn't even know how being a jonin sensei works, the moron!)

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3. Pairings

Naruto and Hinata (As overused as that pairing is, I'm going with it)

Zero and Anko Mitarashi (It's obvious that she'd have the hots for anyone that could ruthlessly kill people with deadly efficiency like she can!)

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4. Other

There is a chance that I may put in a scenario in which 153 goes to the Naruto world in search of 154, for one last attempt in getting revenge on 154 for his previous defeats. Oh, and I might have Naruto give Hinata a gun as a gift, or at least a scenario where TenTen gets interested in the guns. Then again, some characters would see the guns as a cowardly way to fight people, since they basically fire projectiles from long distances.

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EDIT (8/17/13): Erased the part that said that Chapter 1 would be up soon, since it's already up

EDIT (10/9/13): Decided to change Naruto's handgun to a 2009 Colt Delta Elite, since pistols using the 10mm Auto round are more powerful than those using the tried and true .45 ACP rounds. I originally considered the Bren Ten or the Beretta 93R, but went for the Delta Elite instead.

EDIT (10/13/13): I changed section 1's terms


	2. Chapter 1: Zero arrives in a New World!

A/N: This, my friends, is the actual first chapter of the challenge response. I hope you enjoy. Oh, and there will be some swearing, so if you're sensitive to a few expletives, don't read!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything! Thing-Thing belongs to Diseased Productions, and Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. But, my depiction of #154 belongs to me.

Speech Legend:

**Bold Text: **Demon speaking/REALLY angry yelling/etc.

_Italic text:_ Thinking/written messages/etc.

* * *

**Naruto: The Ninja Gunman**

Chapter 1: Zero arrives in a New World!

Gamma-Class Bio-Weapon Project #154 (or **Zero**, as he'd like to call himself), couldn't believe his luck. Just when he thought that he had found the Systems Corp. CEO that ordered his creation and death, he instead found a bunch of monitors, with the CEO himself giving him a long, winded speech on screen. To make things worse, the room is filled with a gas that can negate his regenerative abilities and a whole horde of armed Systems Corp. mercenaries are coming into the room and closing in on his ass real fast. He wiped a bead of sweat off of his forehead and drew his newly-acquired Hades Rifle, knowing that he'll have to fight off these numerous enemies AND potentially die in the process. However, before the mercenaries could fire as much as one shot, something strange had just happened that caught the thugs in awe; an electric blue dimensional rift appearing out of thin air under his feet. Seeing an opportunity to make his escape, Zero quickly pulls out a smokescreen bomb and throws it at the mercenaries before jumping into the portal as it then has now found himself in a new place, which appears to be the interior of a decently fancy mansion, fit for a king. Before he could do anything else, the super-soldier notices a figure walking down a nearby stairwell towards him. This individual wears a navy-blue cloak with ornate gold designs. Zero couldn't see the man's face under the hood, but could make out a pair of eyeglasses.

The figure starts in a voice whose tone exudes wisdom, "Welcome to my mansion in Pocket Dimension #11567A, Zero, or should I say Gamma-Class Bio-Weapon Project #154. Now, I suppose you're wondering why I had opened that portal to bring you here, Zero. It's because I have a job for you to do, and no, I'm not trying to set you up to be killed off for your super-soldier genes."Initially untrusting, Zero inquires, "And what kind of a job would that be, exactly, and how do I know that you're not someone from a rival of Systems Corp.'s?" At this, the cloaked man thought, "_Tough crowd in this one,_" before replying, "I'm not affiliated with those creeps at Systems Corp. nor any rival of theirs. I am Nasrudin, one of the last of the Dimension Masters, the guardians of the boundaries between the many different alternate realities of the multiverse."Zero nods, before asking again, "What do you mean that you are 'one of the last'? What had happened to the others?" Nasrudin replies with a rather sad tone, "That, my friend, is a story for another time," before continuing, "Anyways, as for that job, let me brief you; You will be sent to an alternate reality inhabited by ninjas. There, you will find and train a young boy named Naruto Uzumaki, of Konohagakure no Sato, the Village Hidden in the Leaves. It's a military ninja village in Fire Country, in a continent known as the Elemental Countries."

Zero asks incredulously, "You expect me to train some little kid on how to use a gun? Do you know how unethical that kind of job would be?" as Nasrudin retorts, "That may seem so, Zero, but the circumstances surrounding this boy are…tragic, to say the least. You see, when he was born, a Nine-tailed Fox demon appeared and attacked Konoha. Its tails could crush mountains, create tsunamis, and anything else destructive. Many Leaf Village ninjas died fighting off the Fox, which so happens to be a living entity made of pure energy. When all hope seemed lost, the village's forth leader or Hokage (Fire Shadow), Minato Namikaze, a man who is also known as the Yellow Flash, sacrificed his soul to seal the Nine-tailed Fox into a newborn boy. That boy is Naruto. However, there were civilians who had lost their lives in the attack, and their families grieved. Minato wanted for Naruto to be treated as a hero for carrying such a Herculean burden, but the civilians and some surviving ninjas couldn't see past their grief, and had come to see Naruto as the demon reborn. Because of this, he's been having a tough childhood. He's been abused, shunned, ignored, used as a scapegoat, and in the worst cases, attacked brutally and left for dead. Because of the boy's status as the Fox's container, his wounds had always healed. Naruto has yet to know of his burden; Minato's predecessor, who had to reinstate as the Hokage, made a law forbidding anybody from telling the younger generation or Naruto himself about the Fox. That didn't stop parents from convincing their children that Naruto was a bad influence."

As he hears this explanation, Zero thought, "_So this is why he wanted me to train this kid, so he could at least have some chance to fight back against these damned civvies, and to give him a family. I'll accept this job, if it keeps me away from those mercenaries, even if there are other hostiles I'd have to deal with._" He then asks the Dimension Master, "When can I start this job, and does it pay well, if I may ask?" Nasrudin smiled, "Oh, it does, and you get to start in a moment after you make the necessary preparations." Moments later, Zero, with help from Nasrudin, made the preparations for the trip into the Elemental Countries, packing up food, weapons, ammo, and supplies in a specially-designed hammerspace backpack. The Dimension Master opens a rift that leads to the Elemental Countries, as he sees Zero off, with the bio-weapon jumping into the portal to begin his journey to the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

* * *

One night, we see young Naruto hiding from yet another angry mob in Training Ground #44, most infamously known to even the toughest jonin as the Forest of Death. Though he managed to escape unscathed, he's still upset at not knowing why almost everyone in the village hated him, as he silently sobbed. But, the question is why? Why would they treat him like this? He's never done anything wrong to them, save for the occasional prank here and there. Before he could dwell on those questions any further, he noticed something that truly garnered his attention to the point of making him forget his plight; a dimensional rift opening in front of a nearby tree. Out of it walked a figure wearing a red trench coat, in addition to finger-less gloves of the same color, and red shoes with metallic spikes jutting at the front. He also has a mop of black dreadlocks with red braces on them, along with a scar over his right eye and a short beard. On his back is a backpack colored in black with red designs. All and all, this newcomer means business with the looks to back it up, and that made Naruto feel scared, as he hid behind a tree, watching the stranger look at his surroundings. That individual, who came out of the portal, is none other than Zero.

The bio-weapon himself thought, "_Hmmm, so this village has to be somewhere in or outside of this forest. I've still got to be on my guard for when I end up encountering a ninja or two_," as he then reaches into the hammerspace backpack, and pulls out and loads an XM-435 Super Mag handgun, while getting the feeling that he was being followed. After a few miles of trudging through the oversized woods of the forest, he decided to get his stalker to come out of hiding with a warning shot, which he fired up in the air. He then shouts, "Alright, I know you're following me, so come out!" Not wanting to risk dying, Naruto nervously comes out into the view of the red-wearing stranger.

Seeing the fear in his stalker, apparently a young blonde boy with baby-blue eyes and whisker-like marks on his cheeks, he decided to be gentler with him. He ushers, "Hey, I'm not going to hurt you. It's okay, kid, just come out." As Zero watched the kid come into view, he noticed that his clothes are ratty and torn up, that which made him frown. He asks Naruto in concern, "Kid, I need to ask you something; what are you doing out here in this forest?" The boy replies, "Please, don't hurt me, mister. I was hiding from all these villagers who were chasing me," as he felt Zero's strong arms wrap around his small frame in a fatherly embrace. The young jinchuuriki, unused to such gestures from other people, shivered, at which Zero soothes, "I would never do that," as he runs his hand through the child's hair. The genetically-engineered super-soldier realized then, that he's found Naruto Uzumaki, the container of the Nine-tailed Fox that Nasrudin had told him about earlier. Seeing as this stranger seemed to care about him, Naruto buried his head into his chest, as he felt Zero's hand stroke his back. The bio-weapon felt a warm feeling as he comforted Naruto, smiling contently. However, he then hears a whizzing noise, causing him to hit the deck on a large tree branch with the boy in his arms. Boy was Zero glad that he did hear that sound, because when he turned around, he finds a large shuriken embedded on the trunk of the tree that they stood on. He then puts Naruto down, and has the boy hide someplace safe while he dealt with the assailant. Zero turns around to see his attacker, an ANBU with a dog mask and silver, gravity-defying hair.

The bio-weapon growls, "Watch where you throw that thing! You could've killed us," as he draws out his Super Mag and cocks it. The ANBU replies, "It was to get rid of a certain demon and anybody associating with it, including you," as he draws out another one. However, before he could throw it, there was a loud bang, as the shuriken was sent flying out of his hand and onto the forest floor. The ninja clutched his hand in pain, as Zero blows the smoke from his Super Mag's barrel. The dreadlocked gunman sneers contemptibly at the ANBU, "Listen good, asshole, you don't get off easily with picking a child like the pathetic rat that you are, and I don't think that these other ninjas coming our way would be happy with what you tried to do."

Behind his mask, the ANBU paled, also sensing that his fellow ANBU operatives are nearby, as Zero then finishes, "And to prevent you from fleeing like a coward," before firing shots into his elbows and kneecaps, causing him to scream in pain, writhing on the ground. It is then that other ANBU ninja came out with their weapons ready, along with another individual wearing red and white robes, along with a triangular hat with the Japanese symbol for "Fire" on it. This individual is also an elderly man whose visage exudes the wisdom of a grizzled combat veteran and a powerful leader. That robed elder is Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Third Hokage who had to reinstate when Minato Namikaze died sealing the Nine-tailed Fox. Recognizing the Hokage's regalia, Zero inquires, "Excuse me, but are you the Hokage by any chance?" The old man nods, before asking, "Who exactly are you, and why are you here?" Zero thought for a moment, scratching his beard, before replying, "I'll explain everything when we get back to your village. As for dog-mask here, I had to stop this motherf***er from killing that kid. I wouldn't just stand there. Plus, he tried to kill us first, too!"

* * *

Later that night, we see Zero in the Hokage's office in the Village Hidden in the Leaves, which reminded him of a mix between ancient and modern Japan, while Naruto is in the hospital under ANBU watch. As for the dog-masked ANBU, he was demoted as punishment for trying to kill Naruto. "Now, before I explain anything, Lord Hokage, I'd like this to be a private matter between us. We can't afford for the information we're about to exchange to get to the wrong sort of people," remarks Zero, as Sarutobi orders all ANBU in the room to leave, but the bio-weapon advises, "There's still one more remaining," before firing his Super Mag on a fleeing ANBU wearing a blank, non-animal mask, killing him. The Hokage remarks, "Good eye, Mr. Zero, that was one of Danzo's ROOT ninjas," before having an ANBU dispose of the body, as the village leader himself then uses a soundproofing jutsu on the room.

"Now that we've set things up for our private conversation, I'd like to ask you something first," said Zero, before taking in a large gulp of air into his lungs, and letting out a PO'd, "**WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, OLD MAN, LETTING A LITTLE KID LIKE THIS GET PICKED ON BY THOSE DAMNABLE CIVVIES!? ARE YOU LETTING THIS ABUSE HAPPEN TO MANIPULATE HIM, OR IS IT BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GROW A F***ING SPINE AND ASSERT YOUR DAMNED F***ING AUTHORITY!?**" The God of Shinobi himself was surprised at this sudden outburst, though inwardly indignant at the accusation of manipulating the poor child for his own selfish reasons. He, Hiruzen Sarutobi, would never do that, but his former teammate, Danzo Shimura, would, if he had the chance, that is.

He regained his composure, clearing his throat, before replying, "I assure you that I am not trying to manipulate Naruto. As for your question, it's because that the civilian council kept overruling me, since they are supported by the elders, who were once my teammates. Plus, they keep sending me unreasonable amounts of paperwork to sign in my office, and it doesn't help that Naruto is currently a civilian at the moment, which allows the council to abuse him." Zero nodded, now wanting to pump those selfish ingrates full of lead, as he asks, "What makes these civilian scumbags think that they could poke their noses in ninja affairs and not civilian like they are supposed to?" The Professor himself responds, "Like I said, they are supported by the elders, who hate Naruto as much as the civilians do and are former ninjas themselves, unfortunately." The super-soldier nods, before explaining, "If you think the kid's got it bad, wait till I explain what I really am. I wasn't born naturally; I was created in a research facility by Systems Corp., a large megacorporation dealing in high-tech military weapons and genetic experimentation. I go by the name of Zero, but my actual identity is **Gamma-Class Bio-Weapon Project #154**. I was…designed as a sort of super-soldier created to withstand the hydrostatic shock of multiple bullets and still have plenty of endurance left over, with regenerative abilities to boot. However, they wanted to make sure that I could be controlled, especially for potential clients. I wouldn't want that to happen, so I killed a doctor in my cell and escaped, before fighting my way past the security guards of the facility, before meeting up with my first obstacle to freedom."

The Hokage was awestruck at what Zero told so far, before asking, "And what, pray tell, was this obstacle?" The 154th bio-weapon project himself responds, "Another bio-weapon, much like myself, but an elite unit. He is an Alpha-Class Bio-Android code named "**Poseidon**". He was deployed to guard the exit, and prevent my escape. If you want to know what he looked like, he wore blackish armor, with a distinctive gas mask with spikes on it and a red visor. He was armed with a powerful handheld laser rifle. He may have been an elite bio-weapon, but he proved too easy for me to beat. All it took were some well-placed shots in his head, and he went down. After that, I left the facility, experiencing the outside world for the very first time. I killed a few more enemies, before coming upon a computer terminal saying that I was to be terminated on sight. Not only that but two other elite bio-weapons named "**Zeus**" and "**Hades**", were deployed to hunt me down and kill me. My genes were too valuable for Systems Corp. to lose control of, as they also began hiring mercenaries left and right to eliminate me. Thus began my perilous journey."

Chapter 1 End

I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. If you're a fan of either or both Naruto and Thing-Thing, review your heads off! ;) Oh, and in case you don't know, I named Nasrudin after the Sufi satirical figure, Mullah Nasrudin.


	3. Zero and Naruto, Father and Son!

A/N: This here's the second chapter of this fine challenge response. A friend of mine said that there aren't enough humorous moments, so I decided to put some in this little number.

Disclaimer: Sean McGee AKA Weasel owns Thing-Thing, while Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto. I own my own version of 154, though.

Speech Legend:

**Bold Text: **Demon speaking/REALLY angry yelling/etc.

_Italic text:_ Thinking/written messages/etc.

* * *

**Naruto: The Ninja Gunman**

Chapter 2: Zero and Naruto, Father and Son!

Hiruzen Sarutobi, in all of his years as a ninja, had never heard such a tale, of genetically-created soldiers made in a laboratory, near-endless armies of mercenaries, perilous battles ending in the deaths of said mercenaries, a demented megacorporation out for blood, and an inter-dimensional guardian that had sent him to this world to raise and train Naruto to be a gunman. Zero then asks, "Naruto is an orphan, right?" at which the old Hokage nods, before hearing him say, "I want to adopt him." The village's war chief was shocked at this request, before asking, "Now, why would you want to adopt Naruto?" At this, Zero answered, "Well, it's obvious that this kid isn't safe in the village with all those villagers and ignorant ninjas wanting him dead. Plus, Nasrudin needs me to train him, so that he could at least have a fighting change in this world, while also giving him a family. However, there is this Ninja Academy in your village, but then again, I assume that some of the instructors also hate Naruto, and would gladly accept any bribes from the civilian council to sabotage his education. I'm not a bio-weapon for nothing, you know."

Sarutobi was surprised at his perceptive logic, before thinking, "_Would it be the right thing to let this man train Naruto into a warrior of his caliber? Then, he would be formidable in this way, and perhaps even more so as a ninja? That gives me an idea!_" The Hokage takes out a blank adoption form, and hands Zero a pen to sign it with. "So, you're letting me adopt the kid, but I have a hunch that there's a catch," said Zero. Sarutobi replies, "You thought right. My late successor wanted for Naruto to grow up to be a great ninja and a true hero of this village. In addition to the training you will give him, I will assign one jonin-rank ninja to teach him in the ninja arts. When he finishes his training with you and the shinobi I'll have assigned, he will have to go to the Ninja Academy to take the graduation test in order to become an official ninja of the Hidden Leaf, starting at the genin level." The bio-weapon nodded, before asking, "Since the signing of this adoption form is done in private, would the civilian council, even with the help of the elders, still be able to overrule your authority?" The old war hero shook his head with a smile. "Now that we've settled things," started Zero as Sarutobi deactivates the soundproofing jutsu, "I think it's time we pay my new son a visit at the hospital."

But, before they could do that, another ANBU shows up, before reporting, "Lord Hokage, the council is calling for a meeting concerning on what had happened in the Forest of Death." The old shinobi veteran sighed, as he says to Zero, "I afraid that this visit will have to wait," at which the latter replies, "Oh, don't worry. I've got some things to say to those scumbags. I think it's time I taught a lesson they're not to forget, the elders, too," as he pulls up one of his trench coat sleeves, revealing battle scars from his past brush-ins with Systems Corp.'s mercenaries. The two walked through the hallways of the tower, before coming into the meeting chamber. Sitting on one side is the shinobi council, consisting of the heads of the various shinobi clans residing in the village. One the other side of the chamber are the members of the civilian council, made up of the village's merchants and nobles. And then, there are the elders, consisting of some former teammates of the Hokage; Homura Mitokado, Koharu Utatane, and lastly, the warhawk, Danzo Shimura, identified by his bandages and grim expression.

Zero made a look of contempt on his face toward both the elders and the civilian council, having known of them because of the Hokage, who took his seat as he declared, "This council meeting has come into session," before explaining, "As you may know, Naruto Uzumaki had escaped yet another angry mob, and hid out in Training Ground #44 AKA The Forest of Death. The ANBU Dog went against my orders and had gone to kill him there, but he was thwarted by this man," pointing to Zero, "Identified as Zero, no surname." At this, a fat councilman demands to Zero, "Why did you stop this ANBU from finishing what Lord Forth had started?! The village needs to be cleansed of the demon's taint!" Zero replies in a growling voice, "I don't know what you're talking about, fat boy. What I'm hearing from you is nothing more than a big, fat load of bullshit! The only taint I'm seeing is that of a bunch of greedy scumbags wanting more power. Asides from that, I stopped him because he attacked me and the kid first, idiot!" Indignant at being called names by the hardened warrior, the councilman foolishly attempts to rush Zero with a sharp knife, but was harshly grabbed by the collar of his robes and tossed aside like trash into a wall, and with only one arm at that! Koharu was about to order the ANBU hidden in the room to attack the bio-weapon but was stopped by the Hokage, who warned, "Koharu-san, don't. You do not wish to provoke this newcomer. Besides, he had the right to have done that, and didn't even come from this village, anyways," before turning to Zero, "Could you care to show us the weapon that you've used to stop Dog?"

Zero sighs, "At least have someone bring in a bull's-eye target to demonstrate it with," before turning to the elders and civilians, "Now listen here, I don't want you getting any ideas about what you're going to see, **YOU GOT THAT?!**" The civilians nodded fearfully, gulping nervously at the super-soldier's tone, while the elders kept a straight face. The Hokage orders the ANBU to bring in a bull's-eye target, which they did, as Zero brings out his XM-435 Super Mag. The council gasped at the appearance of the weapon, as he loaded a magazine into it, cocked it, and took aim at the bull's-eye. He pulled the trigger, and with one loud bang, the Super Mag fired a single .45 caliber round at the bull's-eye, hitting it dead center with a small explosion. It is then that Hiashi Hyuuga, head of the prestigious Hyuuga clan and a member of the shinobi council, remarks, "This weapon looks powerful. From what I could make out, it is based on the concept of a handheld cannon." At this, Zero replies back, "I guess you could say that, sir. This is what we call a handgun, which fires metal projectiles by explosive action. You pull the trigger, and a hammer strikes the primer of the loaded cartridge, which holds the propellant and the projectile. When the primer is struck by a hammer in the weapon, the propellant is ignited, the force of which fires the bullet through a rifled barrel. The distance and speed that the projectile travels at depends on the muzzle velocity of the weapon that fires it. This handgun, of the pistol subtype, is the semi-automatic XM-435 Super Mag. It fires .45 ACP rounds, which are well-known for their stopping power. The weapon has a special feature that causes fired rounds to actually explode on impact, and that was a full-metal jacket (FMJ) round that I used, and they are never explosive under normal circumstances."

Inwardly, Danzo is drooling at the aspect of ordering the mass-production of such a powerful weapon and being named Hokage for it, the delusional old fool. The arch-rival of Sarutobi himself remarks, "I propose that we ask Zero's permission to borrow the weapon for reverse-engineering and mass-production. Our enemies would not see this one coming!" At this, the super-soldier retorts, "No way in Hell, old man," as he puts the Super Mag away, "What if a ninja from another village gets his/her hand on this weapon, then what?!" Another civilian, this time a merchant running one of the village's banks, remarks, "You know, this guy's made a really GOOD point! What if an opposing village gets their hands on this weapon? We could be at a real disadvantage!" The bio-weapon then asks the Hokage, "Now, may I leave? I've got someone to visit at the hospital, and I'm not willing to waste anymore of my breath here having to put up with the spoiled brats in grown-ups' bodies known as the civilian council!" The Hokage nods, as he unleashes some KI (killing intent) to silence the civilian council before they could react to the hardened gunman having called them that. Zero left the meeting chamber, and then the tower as a whole to make his way to the hospital.

As he walked through the village, he noticed that some people are giving him strange looks, which is understandable since he's new and he dresses differently than most people there. He soon made it to the hospital, as he asks the receptionist, "Excuse me, I'm asking for the room that a Naruto Uzumaki is in. Do you know which one?" At this, she retorts, "Why should I tell you which room that the little demon brat is recovering in?! Do you wish to get corrupted by it," when she was interrupted by the head doctor, who isn't pleased by the behavior of the receptionist. "I have no room in my hospital for bigoted people like you! Pack your things, you're fired!" he growled, before turning to Zero, "I'm terribly sorry about her, sir. She's one of those narrow-minded civilians who ACTUALLY thought that Mr. Uzumaki was the Nine-tailed Fox reincarnated. Anyways, the boy is in recovery room 201 on the second floor." Zero nods, before taking an elevator to the second floor, and reaching recovery room 201. As expected, the door is guarded by ANBU, as Zero comes up to them and asks, "The Hokage has given me permission to see this kid, so could you let me through?"

The elite ninjas simply nodded, before letting Zero enter the room, where he sees Naruto laying in bed. He comes to the side of the bed, before gingerly stroking the blonde jinchuuriki's forehead. He thought, "_Just you wait, kid, I'll get you out of this village, away from those idiots_," as he then noticed the 6 year old's baby-blue eyes opening. Zero smiled in a fatherly manner, before asking, "How'd you sleep, kid," at which Naruto replies, "I slept fine, thank you," as he then inquires, "But, why did you save me from that mean ANBU? No one ever helps me, save for Old Man Hokage and some of the other ANBU." The super-soldier replies, "I wouldn't just stand there, kid. I wasn't about to let some ingrate with an inability to let go of his grief kill a little kid like you," before whispering, "So, I talked things over with the Hokage, and he decided to let me adopt you, so I'm pretty much your dad, now," as he then pulls Naruto into a fatherly embrace. The demon container began crying tears of happiness, as he returned the gesture. Zero tenderly strokes his back, whispering, "It's going to be alright, kid. Let it all out." The next day, we see the Hokage seeing Zero and Naruto off as they left the village gates, alongside an ANBU ninja that the old war veteran assigned to give the jinchuuriki his training in the ninja arts.

* * *

[Timeskip: 6 years later]

We see the two "Eternal Chuunins" Izumo and Kotetsu, guarding the gates of the village, but are absolutely bored out of their minds. They then noticed three figures walking towards the gate; One of them is the ANBU that the Hokage sent off for six years, another one is Zero, the who stopped the ANBU Dog from killing their favorite demon container, now with a five 'o clock shadow. The last figure is Naruto himself, now with a dramatic change in appearance. He is now wearing a black zip-up jacket with an ammo belt around it like a sash, in addition to a pair of deep blue jeans, in addition to a gun holster and a holster for shuriken and kunai. On his feet, he wears a pair of standard ninja sandals, along with a hammerspace backpack like the one Zero wears and uses to store his items. The two chuunin welcomed the three back into the village, as they are then escorted to the Hokage's office. When they made it there, they still saw the ridiculous amounts of paperwork sent in mostly by the civilian council, but not as much as six years ago.

Zero greets the elderly war chief, "We're back, old man, and Naruto's ready to kick some major ass at the academy! *ahem* Pardon my language." Sarutobi himself smiled back, "Ah, welcome back you three," as he finds himself caught in a friendly embrace by his surrogate grandson, who asks with a smirk, "So, have the civilians been giving you trouble as always?" The old Hokage nodded, as he replies, "Why, yes. When I revealed to them that I've let Zero adopt you, they demanded that I send Hunter Ninjas to track the both of you down. However, I finally asserted my authority, and reminded them about their place on the council. I was also informed that certain members were corrupt, and I had them arrested on charges of treason, embezzling, and bribery. It serves them right. I still have to deal with paperwork, only it's less severe than six years prior, thankfully, but still." He then asks the ANBU, "And how had Naruto's training in the ninja arts went?" The ninja reports, "This kid absorbs knowledge like a sponge, and paid a lot of attention to his lessons. In short, he did excellent, Lord Hokage."

Meanwhile, at the Ninja Academy, we see chuunin-rank instructors Iruka Umino and Mizuki getting ready for the Genin Exams. They hear a knock on the door, as Iruka replies, "Come in." In came Naruto Uzumaki himself, as he hands the scarred instructor a note from the Hokage. "Alright," Iruka started, "We have a new student joining us for the Genin Exams with permission from the Hokage. The note also said that he had been on an extended training trip for six years. Please welcome, Naruto Uzumaki." This got some reactions, some excited, some irritable, and others motivated by…erm, fan girl-ness.

"**SIX YEARS!?** You're joking, Iruka-sensei!"

"I'd *munch-munch-munch* pay to see what he *munch-munch* might do in these exams!"

"What a show-off! These clothes are gaudy!"

"This guy means business, I can tell!"

"Hmm. How troublesome."

"**DON'T LET THIS GUY PARTICIPATE IN THE EXAMS, HE'LL TRY TO MAKE SASUKE-KUN LOOK BAD AND STEAL HIS THUNDER!**"

At this, Iruka used his infamous "Big-Head Jutsu", and yelled out, "**SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU BRATS!**" It is one thing for a student to not pay attention to his lectures, but it's a whole other deal for female students to be arrogant fan girls who don't take their lessons seriously. He regained his composure, before continuing, "Listen, if there's something about this you want to complain about, take it up with the Hokage. Now then, class, to begin the written portion of the exams," as he motions for Mizuki to pass out the worksheets. However, the silver-haired instructor is one of the few ninjas in the village who hated Naruto, thinking that he is the Nine-tailed Fox reincarnated. Not wanting him to become a ninja, he covertly places a genjutsu on the copy of the worksheet meant for Naruto. Unfortunately for Mizuki, the blonde gunman had caught on to it, and released the illusionary technique, and wrote the correct answers to the questions on the paper. When the time came for the test papers to be turned in, Iruka gathered them, and graded each one. He was surprised when he graded Naruto's worksheet, for all of the answers on it are absolutely correct, narrowly beating Sasuke Uchiha, who only got one answer wrong.

When he announced the grades for the test papers, the Uchiha's fan girls fumed that a newcomer was upstaging their so-called Prince Charming, as the loudest among them all, a pink-haired banshee named Sakura Haruno, who is the daughter of one of the civilian councilwomen, accuses Naruto of cheating, only to be silenced by said blonde with a smidge of KI. She attended the Ninja Academy, like most other civilian girls, just to get close to Sasuke, who usually ignored their advances. Speaking of which, the black-haired brood is the lone survivor of his older brother Itachi killing off their family, the prestigious Uchiha clan, and fleeing from the village as a rogue ninja. Sasuke vowed vengeance on his brother, and began to train intensely in the ninja arts to become strong enough to face Itachi. However, the civilian council saw fit to spoil him rotten with lies about his so-called greatness, due to their belief that because the Uchiha clan had the jutsu-copying bloodline ability known as the Sharingan, they were invincible. Plus, the Uchihas are one of the founding clans of the village, as well. However, all the civilians did was to turn Sasuke into a power-hungry jerk. The brooding avenger was also seething at being upstaged, but was curious to know what kind of training the newcomer had exactly undergone. "_Perhaps if I find out his secrets,_" he thought, "_I'll take them for my own, and I might finally be on the level needed to kill that damned older brother of mine!_"

The next part of the Genin Exams consisted of target practice and taijutsu matches. After several students, including Sasuke, performed their target practice tests, Naruto was next. The raven-haired boy, after hitting 9/10 targets, said smugly to Naruto, "Beat that, dobe." The blonde jinchuuriki replies, "Oh, I plan on that, alright," before turning to Iruka, "Say, Iruka-sensei. You said that you can use ANY kind of weapon to hit the targets, right?" The pony-tailed chuunin nods, before noticing Naruto reaching into and pulling out something from his backpack; An M249 light machine gun with a 200-round capacity box magazine loaded with 5.56x45mm NATO cartridges. The other students watched in awe (some with the jaws on the ground) as the blonde loaded the magazine onto the weapon, cocks the gun, and takes aim at a target. He holds the down the trigger for a brief moment, firing a six-round burst at the target, decimating it. He did the same with the other targets, practically destroying them with rapid-fire bursts from the weapon. The students were awestruck by the destructive potential of the full-automatic firearm, but Mizuki was inwardly steaming that Naruto is passing the target practice test with flying colors with this strange weapon. However, there is still the taijutsu portion, so there may still be a chance that his plan to use the 'demon brat' to steal the Forbidden Scroll and giving it to a certain traitor may still work.

As Naruto blew the smoke from his gun's barrel with Iruka passing him, he noticed the duck-haired emo approaching him. He asks, "What do you want," at which Sasuke replies, "I want that weapon that you've used just now. As an Uchiha, I demand that you hand it over," at which Sakura screeches, "Yeah! You should give that thing to him! He obviously deserves to use it more than you do, loser!" Naruto sweatdropped, before narrowing his eyes and replying, "Sorry, but you can't have it, and for some very good reasons, too. #1: You don't know how to use this, and you don't know how to properly maintain it, either. #2: You're spoiled rotten and way too emo. #3: I just don't like you, judging from your arrogance, and the way that your fan girls act. #4: The M249 light machine gun was a gift to me from my dad, who also happens to be a hardened warrior who could kick your ass faster than you could say 'Sharingan', and still have plenty of endurance left over to do it again **FIVE TIMES OVER.**" The second and third reasons made most of the male students laugh, and even the quiet and secretive Shino Aburame was chuckling lightly. Indignant, Sasuke charged towards Naruto, attempting to swipe the light machine gun, only for the jinchuuriki to simply sidestep and trip the arrogant duck-haired rookie. As Sasuke got up to try again, he is faced with Iruka, who scolded, "Sasuke Uchiha, do not even think about it! This weapon belongs to him, and if you want to get down and dirty, save it for the taijutsu portion of the exams!"

Moments later, we see the rookies pitted against one another in one-on-one taijutsu matches. The last pair of rookies to fight each other are (you guessed it) Naruto and Sasuke. The latter went into his family's Interceptor stance, while the blonde adoptive son of Zero took on a Japanese kickboxing stance. To start the match, Iruka shouted, "Hajime!" as Naruto made a "your move" motion with his hand, prompting Sasuke to make the first attack, swinging a punch which Naruto parried. He then began parrying subsequent blows from the Uchiha heir, before deciding to go on the offensive, landing a combo of kicks, elbow strikes, hooks, and punches, ending it with a powerful bolo punch. Sasuke was knocked onto the arena floor, much to the outrage of most of the fan girls (Sakura among them), though some (including Ino Yamanaka) began thinking differently about the so-called 'Great Uchiha'. As soon as Naruto was declared the winner of the match, an enraged Sasuke got up, and performed the hand signs for the Fireball Jutsu, which he promptly performed a double-jump over the flaming projectile, landing behind the spoiled emo. He quickly catches him in a chokehold with one arm, while pointing a 2009 Colt Delta Elite handgun to his head with the other. "Listen, Uchiha, I won fair and square," growled Naruto, "If you have issues with this, *puts on a pair of sunglasses for effect* deal with it!"

Chapter 2 End

Whoo! Now that was a long one! Sorry that I had to end it right there. I don't want to end up making it too long, or else I'd make this a two-in-one sort of a chapter. Anyways, be sure to review. Constructive criticism is good, too. Oh, and did you see the way I referenced that meme? I bet you did!

* * *

In case you lovely ladies and gentlemen haven't noticed, I've been fixing any mistake and/or editing the chapters to make them look better.

EDIT (10/9/13): Changed the P90 to a Colt Delta Elite (see Pre-Story)


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Sean McGee owns Thing-Thing, Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto, and I own Zero.

**Naruto: The Ninja Gunman**

Chapter 3: Graduation and a Traitorous Instructor

Speech Legend:

**Bold Text: **Demon speaking/REALLY angry yelling/etc.

_Italic text:_ Thinking/written messages/etc.

* * *

As Naruto waited for his turn to perform in the final part of the Genin Exams, he noticed a shy-looking girl, Hinata Hyuuga, sitting by herself, twiddling her pointer fingers. Her most distinctive feature is the two white eyes with a shade of lavender. Naruto recognizes her to come from the well-known Hyuuga clan, known for their "Gentle Fist" fighting style and a bloodline ability known as the Byakugan, which allows the user to see through solid surfaces, as well as seeing the chakra points of opposing ninja. He also noticed that she's looking lonely, so he decided to sit next to her to keep her company. Naruto gently taps her shoulder to get her attention, which he did, albeit startling her a little. She turned to the blonde newcomer smiling at her, at which she blushed.

"Hello there," he started, "I couldn't help but see you sit by yourself, so I thought you would like some company, Hinata, right?" before offering a handshake. Hinata nodded before she blushed further. She hesitated for a moment or two, before lightly grasping his hand and shaking it. Hinata felt a warm, comforting feeling flow through her body in that gesture, as if she felt safe with this newcomer. Not knowing what to do on these feelings, she fainted, slumping onto Naruto, with her head on his shoulder. He blushed lightly at this contact, thinking, "And she faints. Feels pretty nice, but still," before propping her unconscious body back up on her chair, and continued waiting for his turn. Thankfully, Hinata already passed. When Naruto was called up, some of the Sasuke fan girls jeered and threw insults at him about how he's inferior to Sasuke, which he ignored. The blonde jinchuuriki created three Shadow Clones (he learned that technique during the training trip), and had one of them perform a Substitution Jutsu with Mizuki (whom he knows had tried sabotaging him in the written test) and the other do the Transformation Jutsu, into Zero's image. "Now, that's very impressive, Naruto," started Iruka before asking, "But, who was that man that one of your Clones turned into?"

The blonde one replies with a smile, "He's my adoptive father, and he taught me how to use firearms, like the one I used in the target test. Tou-san's been using guns as long as he could remember. Plus, he's also formidable with fighting up close and personal, too," as he then hears Sakura's ever-so-annoying voice shout out, "Yeah, right! You're just a loser who had no business coming here and upstaging Sasuke. And I bet your dad is nothing but a drunken," when she was interrupted by Ino Yamanaka, who retorted, "Lay off of this guy, billboard-head! He's beaten Sasuke fair and square in EVERY single part of these exams, so **SHUT THE F*** UP!**" Iruka says to her, "While it was appreciated of you to have defended a fellow student like that, please watch your language. You get some brownie points anyways, Yamanaka-san." The daughter of Inoichi Yamanaka herself bowed and apologized before sitting back down, as Naruto was given his headband. Mizuki thought angrily, "_Damn it all, he passed the whole exam! I'll have to steal the Forbidden Scroll myself…and maybe lure that demon brat into a trap…yes!_" Sasuke, who also passed the final part of the exam, was also seething, as he thinks, "_Damn you, Uzumaki! I should know this stuff, not a loser like him! I'll kill you, and take your weapons for myself!_" Later that afternoon, we see Naruto going to his new home; which so happens to be estate that belonged to his biological father, Minato Namikaze, the Forth Hokage. How does he know that he is the son of the Yellow Flash, you ask? He figured it out for himself when he was training with Zero and the ANBU for six years. Plus, Zero "persuaded" the Hokage into giving him the keys.

He arrives to see his adoptive bio-weapon father waiting for him. Zero notices the headband and smirked, "Looks like you finally made it, kid. Now, all's the left is to be assigned to a team with a jonin-rank instructor and two other graduates," before asking, "Have you met anyone interesting at the Academy?" Naruto replies, "Mmm-hmm. The clan heirs were attending, especially this girl, Hinata Hyuuga. She's pretty shy, and kinda lonely, so I went to sit next to her to keep her company. We shook hands, but she ended up fainting. Guess she's got feelings for me. Oh, and one of the other clan heirs, Sasuke Uchiha, tried giving me a hard time, but I beat him out in every part of the exams. However, he also has a legion of annoying fan girls. Apparently, while we were gone, his clan got wiped out by his own older brother, who had since become an S-rank rogue ninja. I think that stupid civilian council must have spoiled him rotten, plus most of the fan girls came from civilian families."

Zero face-palmed at the last part, as he groaned, "Ah, those annoying civilian councilmen. They're just as bad as the Systems Corp. mercenaries that hunted me down in my old world, even with the support of those crotchety elders," before getting up and walking into the kitchen, and preparing two Nissin Cup Noodles instant ramen cups, adding boiling water and chopped frankfurters to them. To compliment the Cup Noodles, he took two glass bottles of Royal Crown Cola from the fridge. "Come on, kid, I've cooked up some noodles," Zero called, as his blonde apprentice/son walked in. He then brought out two pairs of disposable wooden chopsticks, to eat the ramen with, before using a bottle opener to remove the caps off of the RC Cola bottles. "Itadakimasu!" smiled Naruto, before digging into his cup, slurping up the noodles. Zero did the same, albeit at a slower pace, taking a sip of his soda in between slurps (and munching the frankfurter pieces).

* * *

[Later, in a council meeting…]

We see both Zero and Naruto standing before the Hokage, the elders, and the shinobi and civilian councils. The topic of the meeting…well, let's just say that the civilian council is trying to demand either for Naruto to hand over his weapons and techniques to Sasuke or for Zero to train Sasuke. However, they are silenced by a warning shot…from an M1887/1901 lever-action shotgun wielded by Zero. He then snarled, "Shut the Hell up, assholes! You can't touch Naruto, since he's a ninja now. He's not going to hand anything over to you damned punks! Plus, I'm not going to teach an arrogant brat like that Uchiha anything!" At this, Homura starts, "Mr. Zero, by order of the council, you WILL teach Sasuke-san or else," but was stopped by another warning shot, this time from Naruto wielding a Benelli M4 Super 90 shotgun, the same kind of weapon that Project 153 used in his first battle with Zero. "Didn't you hear my tou-san?" he asked angrily, before finishing, "He said **SHUT THE HELL UP!**" Before the elder could say something that would get him killed, Sarutobi warns sternly, "Homura, don't try my patience, or theirs either for that matter! They may potentially have the capacity to take down entire armies," before calming down and turning to the two gunmen, "Forgive me for having wasted your time like that, you two. You may leave now." The elderly Hokage then turned to the elders and civilian council, "Listen good. I will not tolerate you people trying to steal what isn't yours and giving it to a mentally-unstable brat for his own use. Sasuke Uchiha is under my jurisdiction, not yours, not anymore. This meeting is a waste of both my time and theirs, as well. It is adjourned!"

Meanwhile, Zero and Naruto are on their way home to the compound, when they notice Mizuki being pursued by ANBU. They then notice the large scroll on the fleeing chuunin's back, which they deduce to be the reason why the ANBU are chasing him. "Tou-san! That chump tried to sabotage me in the Genin Exams, and now he's stealing the Forbidden Scroll!?" groaned Naruto, as Zero replies, "Well, what are we waiting for, kid, we've got to stop this f***er!" The two gunmen then went off to help the ANBU capture the traitorous chuunin instructor and retrieve the stolen Forbidden Scroll of Sealing. They caught up to the ANBU, as Zero says to them, "We're here to help you catch this rotten punk," while drawing and loading an Izhmash PP-19 Bizon-2-07 SMG and cocking the weapon. Naruto pulls out his P90, and does the same. They headed into the forest, where they soon caught up with Mizuki, smiling madly with a demented look on his face.

"So, you two came along with the ANBU to stop me, eh?" starts the traitor with arrogant glee, "I guess it's now time Naruto knew the truth about why the villagers hated him so much!" The blonde jinchuuriki frowned, having heard what the silver-haired defector said, "Nice try, you dirty traitor, but I already know about my status as the Nine-tailed Fox's container. Plus, I knew that you've put a genjutsu on my test paper during the exams, dumbass!" Mizuki gasped that his plan to make Naruto feel bad about how he's actually the demon reborn has backfired miserably. One of the ANBU said, "We have you surrounded, Mizuki. Hand over the Forbidden Scroll and face justice, or we'll do things the hard way!" At this, the arrogant Mizuki smirked, pulling out a small vial filled with a red, liquid-like substance and drinking its contents. He laughed maniacally, undergoing a transformation, "Behold, the power promised to me by Orochimaru!" By the time the transformation had finished, the traitor had become a large, muscular, humanoid tiger, and lets out a fearsome roar. "So, that's your intentions for that scroll, to give it to that insane snake-freak," growled Zero, having heard of Orochimaru, one of the three legendary sannin, and a traitor to the village.

Before Mizuki could charge and swipe his powerful arms at the 'demon brat', Naruto himself quickly pulled out a strange, futuristic-looking katana and parried the claws, before landing some shots from his P90, sending Mizuki back. The transformed turncoat puts his right paw on his chest in pain, having been shot there. He growls, "You'll pay for this, you little brat!" Zero retorts, "Oh, but you're the asswipe who's going to pay," before switching out his Bizon for a Heckler & Koch HK21 machine gun, and firing at Mizuki with it, forcing the tiger-man to raise his arms to block the projectiles. Before he could retaliate, Naruto came from behind, and stabbed the sword through the traitor's skull, before slicing him downwards, cutting the rogue instructor in half. The blonde gunman then performs the hand signs for the Fireball Jutsu, burning the halved corpse to ashes, before picking up the Forbidden Scroll and handing it to the ANBU. Watching the events through a crystal ball was the Hokage himself. Though disturbed at the way that Mizuki was cut in half, he was proud of Naruto for having taken down the traitor. He was also surprised to learn that the boy knows of his burden, and that he didn't break down for getting his first kill in life, the last part he sighed in relief at.

A couple or so days later, we see Naruto at the Academy, sitting with Hinata while waiting to be assigned to a team. Iruka announces, "For Team 7, the members are; Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno," when the pink-haired banshee herself screeched, "**YATTA ZE! TRUE LOVE CONQUERS ALL! IN YOUR FACE, INO-PIG!**" Everyone had to cover their ears at that, as Iruka then finishes, "and Sai. Your instructor will be Kakashi Hatake." Thankfully, Naruto isn't to be on this team, and for some good reasons, too; One, Sasuke would try and demand for him to hand over his techniques and weapons. Two, Sakura would be useless as a kunoichi since she is a die-hard fan girl. Three, Kakashi Hatake has a tendency of being late and reads the perverted Icha Icha Paradise series of adult novels written by the Toad Sage, Jiraiya. Not only that, but Kakashi may potentially play favorites with Sasuke, on the grounds that the former ANBU himself has a Sharingan eye implanted in him. Naruto himself mentally sighed in relief, "_Thank Kami! I wouldn't want to be on a team with those two nutjobs, and that miserable excuse for a sensei! But then, there's this Sai character. There's something off about him that's just plain suspicious. He's also kinda creepy, too, with that smile._" A moment later, he was assigned to Team 8, consisting of himself, Hinata, and the brash and hot-headed Inuzuka clan heir, Kiba, along with his canine partner, Akamaru. Their instructor is recently-promoted jonin and genjutsu specialist Kurenai Yuuhi.

Chapter End

I initially considered for Naruto to be placed on Team 7, but decided instead to put him with Kiba, Akamaru, Hinata, and Kurenai. I know, I know, the thing where Sai is on Team 7 is overused, but I'm going with this one. Be sure to review! Oh, and I'll be sure to do a chapter about Konohamaru, forgive me for having skipped that one!

* * *

**Omake: Ripping Mizuki a New One!**

Before Mizuki could charge and swipe his powerful arms at the 'demon brat', Naruto himself quickly pulled out a strange, futuristic-looking katana and parried the claws, before landing some shots from his P90, sending Mizuki back. The transformed turncoat puts his right paw on his chest in pain, having been shot there. He growls, "You'll pay for this, you little brat!" Zero retorts, "Oh, but you're the asswipe who's going to pay," before switching out his Bizon for a Heckler & Koch HK21 machine gun, and firing at Mizuki with it, forcing the tiger-man to raise his arms to block the projectiles. Before he could retaliate, Zero hands Naruto a strange, handheld weapon resembling a multiple-barreled cannon with two handles and a single-lens sight.

"Tou-san, do you realize what weapon you're letting me borrow?" asks Naruto knowingly, as the bio-weapon nods, before crowing, "Do it, son!" At this statement, the blonde gunman smirked, before aiming the weapon at the now-charging Mizuki, before squeezing the trigger. The barrels began rotating, not unlike that of the mini-vulcan he occasionally used in Nasrudin's training arena. The next thing that happened proved to be quite chaotic; Multiple missiles were fired from the weapon, all homing in on the traitor. The tiger-man tried to dodge them, only to be consumed in a mushroom-shaped cloud with a resounding explosion. It is then that Iruka came by to see what's going on, as he asks Naruto, "I heard about Mizuki and WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO TO HIM?!"

Zero explains, "Allow me. That traitor drank this red substance, turned into a tiger-man-thing, and revealed that he intended to steal the Forbidden Scroll for Orochimaru of the Sannin. About what happened to him, I've let Naruto borrow this weapon, and needless to say, he blew that traitor sky-high and ripped him a new one!" The instructor nods, before turning to the jinchuuriki, who explains, "This, Iruka-sensei, is the **RYNO II**, with RYNO being an acronym for "**R**ip **Y**a a **N**ew **O**ne". The RYNO's are a series of powerful missile launchers capable of launching volleys of homing missiles at a high rate of fire, except for the RY3NO (V2-4), RYNOCIRATOR (RY3NO V5), and the RYNO IV variations, all of which fired energy blasts. These weapons proved so powerful and so dangerous, that it was outlawed out there in certain galaxies. As for how tou-san got this one, it's a story best told at a later time. Don't let the civilian council OR the elders find out about this weapon; it packs a huge wallop, and may be too dangerous for anybody else on this world to handle, and it's very heavy to carry around, as well!"

Watching from a crystal ball in his office was Sarutobi, who paled at the sight of the RYNO II's destructive capabilities, and silently agreed on what Naruto said about the civilian council and elders if they ever found out about this deadly piece of work. Nonetheless, he was also proud of Naruto for having taken down the traitorous instructor (though still disturbed on how the RYNO II was used), while surprised at how he knows of his jinchuuriki status and not breaking down for taking his very first kill. "Such a headache this may bring," Sarutobi sighed to himself, as he smiled, "But it's worth it to see how Naruto had grown into such a potent warrior. Still, it would be interesting on what he may do out there..."

Omake End!


	5. Chapter 4: Meanwhile

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Thing-Thing nor do I own the Naruto series. They belong to their respective owners, Sean McGee AKA Weasel and Masashi Kishimoto.

**Naruto: The Ninja Gunman**

Chapter 4: Meanwhile…

Speech Legend:

**Bold Text: **Demon speaking/REALLY angry yelling/etc.

_Italic text: _Thinking/written messages/etc.

* * *

We see Zero in the Hokage's office, having been brought there by an ANBU. The bio-weapon asks, "What's the word, old man?" The elderly war chief clears his throat before he replies, "Well, hours ago, one of our patrol squads had captured a group of strangers armed with firearms like yours, and brought them to the T & I Department for questioning. So far, they had been uncooperative, so I figured that you could sort them out," as he then ordered an ANBU to lead Zero to the headquarters of the T & I Department. When they got to the main interrogation room, the bio-weapon narrowed his eyes and growled, for the people being interrogated are Systems Corp. soldiers.

"What the Hell are **THEY** doing here?!" he snarled, at which one of the interrogators, Anko Mitarashi, who was once the apprentice to Orochimaru, asks sultrily, "You know these guys, big boy?" Zero replies, "They're some of the Systems Corp. mercenaries that hunted me down, for f***'s sake! But, the question is; What could bring them here to the Elemental Nations?" Zero then turns to the nearest Systems Corp. merc, who shivered fiercely in fear, almost to the point of wetting himself. His fear was justified, as he had heard stories from his fellow mercenaries about Zero's brutality. He himself starts, "What are you and little friends doing here in this world? **TELL ME!**" as the mercenary shrieked, "Aaagh! Please, no! I'll do anything! I'll even tell you who sent us here!"

The bio-weapon pulls out his XM-435 Super Mag, loads it, and points it at the soldier, before threatening, "You better talk fast, asshole, or I'll blow your motherf***ing brains out," as he fires a warning shot at the ceiling for emphasis. Caving in, the mercenary explained that he and his unit were given an assignment to go to the other side of a dimensional portal created by an experimental device acquired from a corporate merger, for a reconnaissance mission. As they made their way through the forest and made camp, they were ambushed by the Konoha patrol squadron that found them, and were brought into the village for questioning, in addition to their weapons being confiscated.

The frightened mercenary also mentioned that his unit was given an emergency retreat device in case the going gets too tough. That gives Zero an idea; one that would give Systems Corp a reason to be angry! He shoots his fellow squad mates in the heads, killing them, before beating around the luckless mercenary. The bio-weapon then grabs the soldier by the collar, before giving a sadistic smile, and saying to him, "I'm going to let you go and crawl back to your boss, but not without a message I'd like you to give him. Tell that goddamned coward of a CEO that I'm not f***ing around, and if he sends any more lackeys here to this world, that they better watch their worthless backs!"

The merc nodded fearfully, before activating the emergency retreat device, and disappearing in a flash of light. Ibiki Morino AKA The Mind Sadist and the head of the T & I Department, questions Zero, "Why'd you let this little punk go, just to send a message to this Systems Corp. or something or other?" Zero asks, "Trust me, Ibiki, you wouldn't want to be a military bio-weapon on the run from a deranged military megacorporation wanting to use your genes to create a more potent weapon. Plus, imagine if that lunatic, Orochimaru of the Sannin made an alliance with these guys!" Anko was impressed with the gunman's logic, as she thought, "_Yeah…what if that traitorous snake made an alliance with people as powerful as Systems Corp.? From what the old man told us and the other jonin in that secret meeting, Systems Corp. can create powerful bio-weapons and utilize high-tech military hardware. If that damned bastard joined forces with them, they could create even stronger weapons!_"

* * *

[With Team 8…]

We see Naruto, Hinata, Kiba, and Akamaru having passed a teamwork test assigned to them by their instructor, Kurenai. They are now being treated to some nice, hot noodles at Ichiraku Ramen, by Naruto himself. It is then that the red-eyed jonin herself decided to ask the blonde jinchuuriki, "Uzumaki-san. May I ask you what the weapon you used during the test was?" Knowing what his instructor was talking about, he pulled out the weapon in question; an FN P90 PDW in its bullpup glory.

He explains, "This, Kurenai-sensei, is the P90, developed as a personal defense weapon for military use. Fires a lethal burst of lead bullets at 900 rounds per minute, which is pretty fast. It was created directly in response to a request for a new type of weapon that utilizes proprietary types of rounds for better range, accuracy, and armor-piercing capability. The P90 features an ergonomical, compact, and ambidextrous bullpup design, and uses a 5.7x28mm cartridge. These rounds are spot-on accurate, have good penetrating power, low recoil, releases all that kinetic energy on impact, and is faster than those heavy handgun rounds like the 9x19mm Parabellum, .45 ACP, and .40 S&W. The P90 also features a unique, 50-round magazine that mounts on top of the weapon, in addition to a port on the underside where spent casings are ejected, so that you wouldn't have them fly onto your body and burn you. The weapon is also easy to take apart and put back together, making it excellent for a quick field stripping."

[Timeskip: Several D-Rank missions later…]

Within the next several days, the team had been doing plenty of D-Rank missions, which mostly consisted of household chores that villagers needed help with; getting rid of the weeds, walking the dogs, painting a fence or a wall, but worst of all, having to catch Tora, the pet cat of the Fire Daimyo's wife that constantly runs off. It wasn't all bad, though. Whenever they get some free time from missions in their team meetings, they would go to the Namikaze estate and use the new shooting gallery Zero had set up there. One day, Team 8 was called into the Hokage's office for a new mission. Team 7, lead by Kakashi Hatake, had taken a C-Ranked mission to escort a bridge builder, Tazuna from Wave Country. However, the client withheld information, before revealing that the shipping magnate and tyrannical crime boss Gato has hired rogue ninjas from Kirigakure no Sato, the Village Hidden in the Mist, to try and kill Tazuna, to prevent him from building a bridge that could take away his business. The Hidden Mist defectors in question are the Demon Brothers, Gozu and Meizu, and Zabuza Momochi AKA the Demon of the Hidden Mist and one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. It had also turned out that Zabuza has a mysterious accomplice posing as a Hidden Mist hunter ninja. As a result, mission to Wave Country was bumped up to A-Rank. Thankfully, Kakashi has the decency to request back-up, having sent one of his ninja dog summons to deliver the request to the Hokage.

Kurenai narrowed her eyes, "Kakashi. What is that pervert thinking, taking a team of fresh-from-the-academy genin on a dangerous mission like that?! They could've died! Damn him and that pride of his!" It is then that Zero came into the office, with the Hades Rifle in hand. Sarutobi greets, "Good, you're here. Your son's team is getting its first serious mission," as he explained the details. At the mention of the silver-haired copycat ninja, Zero growled, "That idiot. He thinks that because he's got that Uchiha brat on his team, that he can play favorites with him. At least, that's what I heard from some of the other jonin instructors. He should consider himself lucky that he called for back-up, or else I'd kick his sorry ass like I did in the Forest of Death." At this, Kurenai asks incredulously, "Wait. You fought Kakashi in there?"

Zero turned to the Hokage with a look that prompts the old legend to apply a soundproofing jutsu on the room, as the bio-weapon then explained, "Six years ago, I came to the Forest of Death, and found Naruto hiding from an angry mob there. Kakashi, back when he was an ANBU, showed up and tried to kill us. Before he could do so, I shot the bastard in the elbows and knees to prevent him from fleeing." He then turns to the Hokage, and says, "I request to accompany Team 8 on the mission, just in case Team 7 is in need of any straightening out," as he pulls out his XM-435, loads a clip of ammo into it, and cocks the weapon for emphasis. The Hokage gave a smile that reads "request approved", as the old veteran thought, "_*sigh* I don't know exactly what gave Kakashi the idea that he'd owe Obito by playing favorites with that unstable brat, Sasuke. Then again, he has his Sharingan. With Zero on this mission, he had better watch his back, or else…_"

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[Meanwhile in Wave Country…]

We see Kakashi training his students, while focusing mostly on Sasuke. He suddenly felt a sneeze coming on, and pulled out a handkerchief and sneezed into it. He thinks, "_Someone must be talking about me_," as he continued where he left off.

[Back in Konoha…]

We see the team packing up, and preparing for the mission to Wave Country, to assist Team 7 (and straightening out Kakashi) in protecting the bridge builder, Tazuna, until his bridge is completed and Gato is dealt with.

[POV switch: Zero]

I was packing up for the mission to come; I packed in guns, ammo, maintenance kits, food, and a small pack of cigars, some nice 6-inch panatelas with oscuro wrappers. I wouldn't worry too much about my lungs, because of my regenerative abilities preventing that sticky tar from causing any damage to them. Now, about that mission, to help Kakashi protect this bridge builder; apparently, that moron had gotten himself in trouble with an A-Rank rogue ninja from the Village Hidden in the Mist named Zabuza Momochi, who also happened to be one of the infamous "Seven Swordsmen of the Mist".

Now, from what I've heard from old man Sarutobi, he's also a master of the Hidden Mist Jutsu, which he uses to create a thick fog to blend into, and silently sneak up on and kill his targets. The man also wields this sword known as the Executioner's Blade, which resembles an oversized butcher's knife and has a half-circle used for decapitation, leading to its name. The weapon is also capable of regenerating, using the iron absorbed from the blood of those that it is used to cut down. That back-up request also said that he has this accomplice that posed as a Hunter Ninja from the Hidden Mist Village. It's unknown on what this guy's capable of, but we'll see when there's going to be another battle against Zabuza.

Just as I finished packing, I suddenly felt my cheek being cut a little. There's only one woman I know with the tendency to taste other ninjas' blood (though not to the point of being considered a vampire) after cutting them in the cheek. That woman is Anko Mitarashi from the T & I Department. I wonder what got her interested in me. Before I could react, she gave a sultry chuckle, "You know, for a genetically-created soldier made in a laboratory by a megacorporation, your blood sure tastes good." I replied to her that she ain't so bad herself. She then offered to go out with me after we get back from Wave Country, so I said to her, "No promises."

Chapter End

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Be sure to review, 'nuff said! Oh, and sorry about not coming up with any spoken dialogue for Kiba!


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